2017-03-27 - Conflict

Owned by Douglas Webb
Mar 28, 2017

Outcomes

  • AP: Doug and Frank to draft a pack for conflict resolution ideas and skills for individual use/training.
  • Rough consensus: Preferable for one to leave than project exploding.
  • Rough consensus: Better to resolve conflict than avoiding it (by, for instance, asking someone to leave).
  • Open issue: Active inclusion and exclusion - why, when, how?

What is conflict?

  • disagreement
  • a different perception of the world
  • when people trying to fulfill their needs believe they must deny the others to fulfill their own
  • anti-harmonic interaction (as opposed to harmonic interaction or non-interaction)
  • between people, ultimately about external behavior not internal thoughts/feelings which cannot be truly known

Why deal with conflicts?

  • because it holds people back from their ultimate goals: conflict is means to an end, not an end in itself
  • to prevent waste (physical items, mental/emotional energy, time, etc)
  • to identify and fulfill as many peoples needs as far as possible
  • to allow harmonic interaction

Direct approaches to dealing with conflict

  • Cooperate. Both actively try to understand the other to create the most acceptable solution.
  • Compromize. Without understanding the other, select the most acceptable of the current solutions.
  • Dominate. One submits to the will of the other.
  • Avoid. Avoiding the topic, the other or the environment.

Skills, activities and ideas for resolving conflict

  • Awareness/mindfulness (Meditation, yoga, personal-time)
  • Coordination meetings (Short stand-up rounds, heart sharing circles, specific topic meetings, general coordination meetings, educational presentations...)
  • Coordination systems (On-boarding, buddying-up, speaker system, databases, walky-talkies, message board...)
  • Non-violent communication (NVC) All humans have the same basic needs and try to fulfill these as best they can. When a conflict arises and is approached in a violent/dominative way then the approach itself becomes part of the conflict and escalation occurs. Observation → Feeling → Need → Request model.
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) Stimuli interpreted into feelings according to thoughts from previous experience. Ask introspective questions. Stop when you're unhappy with something and inspect it before acting. Stimulus → Thoughts → Feelings → Response model.
  • Mediation (mutual friend, each person with own mediator, external mediator, working group, entire group)

Discussion of conflicts with sub-optimal outcomes for entire projects.

  • The mill at W where 3 of the 4 board members left because of the remaining member.
  • The hospital at H where most of the project members left because of one member.
  • The transition house in W where a conflict that has been ongoing for years continues to drain the time and energy of many.
  • The train station in B where one member was a significant factor in many of the others leaving.

There was rough consensus that it is sub-optimal for one individual to cause a majority of people to leave or slowly kill a project, and that it is preferable to ask someone to leave before this happens. How might this ultimate conflict resolution measure be performed? A requirement to first undergo mediation? Secret decision-making? If someone is asked to leave, how long do they get to make provisions elsewhere? Is asking-to-leave a binary or special decision compared to general meeting procedure?

FWIW, two of Ostroms eight principles for governing the commons are:

6. Use graduated sanctions for rule violators.
7. Provide accessible, low-cost means for dispute resolution.


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