2017-03-27 - Conflict

Present: Douglas Webb, Matthias Larisch, fr4nk 0nf1r3 and for a little while Laurina
Notes by: Douglas Webb (summarized the following day)
Language: English
Location: Harzgerode

Outcomes

AP: Doug and Frank to draft a pack for conflict resolution ideas and skills for individual use/training.
Rough consensus: Preferable for one to leave than project exploding.
Rough consensus: Better to resolve conflict than avoiding it (by, for instance, asking someone to leave).
Open issue: Active inclusion and exclusion - why, when, how?

What is conflict?

disagreement
a different perception of the world
when people trying to fulfill their needs believe they must deny the others to fulfill their own
anti-harmonic interaction (as opposed to harmonic interaction or non-interaction)
between people, ultimately about external behavior not internal thoughts/feelings which cannot be truly known

Why deal with conflicts?

because it holds people back from their ultimate goals: conflict is means to an end, not an end in itself
to prevent waste (physical items, mental/emotional energy, time, etc)
to identify and fulfill as many peoples needs as far as possible
to allow harmonic interaction

Direct approaches to dealing with conflict

Cooperate. Both actively try to understand the other to create the most acceptable solution.
Compromize. Without understanding the other, select the most acceptable of the current solutions.
Dominate. One submits to the will of the other.
Avoid. Avoiding the topic, the other or the environment.

Skills, activities and ideas for resolving conflict

Awareness/mindfulness (Meditation, yoga, personal-time)
Coordination meetings (Short stand-up rounds, heart sharing circles, specific topic meetings, general coordination meetings, educational presentations...)
Coordination systems (On-boarding, buddying-up, speaker system, databases, walky-talkies, message board...)
Non-violent communication (NVC) All humans have the same basic needs and try to fulfill these as best they can. When a conflict arises and is approached in a violent/dominative way then the approach itself becomes part of the conflict and escalation occurs. Observation → Feeling → Need → Request model.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) Stimuli interpreted into feelings according to thoughts from previous experience. Ask introspective questions. Stop when you're unhappy with something and inspect it before acting. Stimulus → Thoughts → Feelings → Response model.
Mediation (mutual friend, each person with own mediator, external mediator, working group, entire group)

Discussion of conflicts with sub-optimal outcomes for entire projects.

The mill at W where 3 of the 4 board members left because of the remaining member.
The hospital at H where most of the project members left because of one member.
The transition house in W where a conflict that has been ongoing for years continues to drain the time and energy of many.
The train station in B where one member was a significant factor in many of the others leaving.

There was rough consensus that it is sub-optimal for one individual to cause a majority of people to leave or slowly kill a project, and that it is preferable to ask someone to leave before this happens. How might this ultimate conflict resolution measure be performed? A requirement to first undergo mediation? Secret decision-making? If someone is asked to leave, how long do they get to make provisions elsewhere? Is asking-to-leave a binary or special decision compared to general meeting procedure?

FWIW, two of Ostroms eight principles for governing the commons are:

6. Use graduated sanctions for rule violators.
7. Provide accessible, low-cost means for dispute resolution.