Ways of dealing with unpleasant lamâsching experiences

Because of the unclear process and the dynamic nature of lamâsching, which is complementary to traditional ways of treating and maintaining interpersonal relationships, I want to try to offer advice on how to handle unpleasant ambiguities or cases of miscommunication. I imagine this page to work like the Q&A sections in teen magazines, where the juicy questions are addressed, so feel free to add anything you can think of, be it questions/situations or answers!

To get a rough overview of who is generally up for which amount of physical closeness, please refer to Lamâsching Availability.

• I have a severe crush on somebody and actually only join lamâsching to be close to that somebody and have not much interest in the other participants (anymore).
  • Janina Abels This can happen and doesn't have to be bad. It all depends on how you want to handle this situation. Do you want to start a relationship with your crush or do you only want to have some more fun with this specific individual? Whatever the case may be, to intensify the contact with one person, you should communicate your wishes to him or her. If you don't plan on intensifying anything here and just feel weird because your own approach to lamâsching changed due to this having-a-crush, just wait a bit, consciously appreciate the others as well and you'll see, after a while everything goes back to normal.
• I feel jealousy because I have a clear favorite and (s)he doesn't know or doesn't care about my preference.
  • Janina Abels Jealousy is always destructive, so please try to handle it as soon as possible. If you want your favorite to yourself, then talk to that person about it and maybe you figure it out together. But if the other one doesn't want to grant you exclusiveness, you have to accept that. Lamâsching someone does not include any promise, so be careful that you won't hurt your feelings on other participants' softness by over-interpreting it!  
• I feel a special connection between me and another lamâscher and don't know how to handle this.
  • Janina Abels Well, communication seems to be a good idea, don't you think? ^^ Maybe this is the start of something wonderful between you two! Go ahead and talk about this with the other one, to clarify all subtle signals and ambiguous looks. 
• I think another lamâscher finds me especially attractive but I don't fancy him/her that much.
  • Janina Abels Even though it is unpleasant, you should probably tell them if you feel uncomfortable and you leaving the situation multiple times was not enough to show the other one that you are not interested in lamâsching him or her especially intensely. Be tactful but honest and trust that the other one will understand, because lamâsching someone does not include any promise.
• I see people left out and confused and nobody taking care of reintegrating them.
  • Janina Abels Sometimes more experienced lamâschers loose track of what is going on around them due to enjoying more than supervising. In situations like that, please feel free to take charge and support newbies in any way you see fit! There are no leaders in lamâsching, only people who started doing it earlier than others, so your approach is as valid as anybody elses!
• I would like to change my position, go to the toilet or go to sleep, but fear that the others would perceive this as not appreciating the lamâsching.
  • Janina Abels Yep, I know that one very well, and I guess everybody does. Just decide case by case when the right moment is there for you to move and don't be afraid about what others might think! When somebody starts reorganizing a lamâsching pile due to dead limbs, the desire to urinate or sleep, there probably will be participants thankful for this change...