When I arrived at the first WuppDays in Malo, I was immediately greeted by hugs. I didn't meet the people before, I didn't talk to them, but simply my existence was enough to make them trust and hug me.

As Janina wrote in Physical intimacy/skinship and appropriateness, it's not common in my culture to value enjoyment from unconditional body contact. I would like to explore the reasons for it, as well as ways out and possible problems. I will describe a culture, which values skin and body contact and unconditional love between human beings. I will call it Lamasching Culture.

For description of terms, see the Hidden Glossary.

Where I come from

I'm coming from a culture where body and skin contact is only done with the purpose of greeting, of sports, and love and sex between couples. The latter is supposed to happen in private spaces, with the exception of holding hands and kissing. Overdue kissing in public is barely accepted. Body contact can also happen in crowded busses or trains, when it can't be avoided. It's definitely not supposed to be enjoyed.

Explanation of Lamasching Culture

The lamasching culture is not wide-spread and limited to group of people, who know each other at least a little bit. It mostly happens in enclosed, private spaces. People are there with a purpose, possibly while working on the same project or by living there.

We hug each other randomly, with no apparent reason. We do group hugs by standing very closely together end enjoying each others presence. We sit and lie down on sofas with much more people than usual. We are not afraid of touching each other, we make comments and fun about it. We sleep on mattresses, not with a single person, but as close as possible.

Lamasching is different from erotic actions, such as kissing on the mouth and sex. Both actions happen between two people. Sex itself should happen in private places. We are able to talk about it in lamasching culture, but it's a bit uneasy for most participants.

Opportunities of Lamasching

I value body contact very much, and I deeply appreciate being close to other people, while feeling respected and sure about myself.

Lamasching enhances the perception of my own body, as well as the perception of people around me. I feel more empathical with people I have lamasched with.

Possible Problems of Lamasching

When people first join a lamasching culture, they might be overwhelmed. A gentle introduction might be necessary. It is normal to lamasch only a little bit in the beginning. After a while, people might feel more comfortable and fully join lamasching.

Individuals have differently sized private spheres, which are defined by their past experiences. For example, I've heard that people who were subject to sexual abuse might have a harder time of enjoying body contact. In contrast, people who feel very sure about themselves might be able to enjoy body contact even with total strangers in public.

While lamasching, everybody needs to respect the private sphere of others. It is possible to have closer contact to someone, while only maintaining light lamasching interaction to someone else. This can create a tension of jealousy, which limits the enjoyment of lamasching. Talking and empathy helps to reduce the tension.

How to start a Lamasching Culture

Get people together without expectations and conditions. They should feel welcome and free. The lamasching space should be cosy and comfy. Sofas and non-glaring light are recommended.

1. If you are walking by someone, start with hugging. The hug should not be forced, try to feel your partner and find the connection.
2. If you see people hugging, feel free to join them to a group hug.
3. If you happen to sit on a sofa, invite people to sit next to you. Even better, lie down for more comfyness.
4. Touch each other softly, talk about your feelings, thoughts or funny things.
5. Later, people will start lamasching more openly.