August+September 2016 Retrospective

I was involved in the following events (in chronological order):

  • Exams for my studies in electrical engineering
  • Kirchheim WuppDays
  • Foodsharing at M'era Luna
  • Foodsharing at Highfield Festival
  • Foodsharing at Chiemsee Summer
  • WuppBreak

First of all, the logistics. I travelled between those events by hitchhiking (> 1600 km) and by bike (> 200 km). Routes were:

This gives a cool shape on Google maps. (might look the same on OpenStreetMap, didn't test (wink)).


In all of those events, I had quite high involvement. The exams were my final exams and I wanted to finish my studies. The Kirchheim WuppDays were important to me because I spend almost all of my time for yunity and love the people. Representing foodsharing on the festivals was an experiment to test my organizational skills, coordinating a group, but also giving them room for self-organization. The WuppBreak was the final cumulation of this: me hosting my first yunity event at my parents place. I didn't foresee that this would turn out to be one of the biggest and most rampant yunity events so far, though I surely didn't take any measures to prevent it.

Relationships

Since I was with so many people in these two months, I had the amazing idea to describe the events by my relationships to others (big grin)

Me and the group

During studying for the exams, I didn't feel part of a group. Since I don't have a room in Munich anymore, I stayed at a shared flat of friends of mine. It was nice there, but no group feeling for me.

As soon as I arrived in Kirchheim, I was amazed by the intense positive group dynamics! Got thoroughly greeted and hugged by everybody, most people even showed up just because of me arriving there. Even before entering the WuppDays house, a spontaneous party emerged in front of it. What felt so smooth: breakfast, lunch, dinner, dumpster diving, meetings, lamâsching!

At the first festival, the M'era Luna, I was pretty much looking forward how the group will be. At a previous online meeting, they seemed quite active and proposing ideas and started organizing, so I was very happy! (I write this text more than 2 months later, so small details may got lost). I remember that only a few people got very active, which still seemed to be enough, as there was not so much to do. I hope I gave them enough information to see the possibilities and the tasks. The organization with clearly distributed responsibilities ("you take care that people always enter themselves into the rota") gave me much peace-of-mind.

(highfield)
(chiemsee summer)
(wuppbreak)

What went well

  • Took part in group activities
  • Gave freedom for self-organization
  • Reworked and held an introductory presentation at the WuppBreak together with Douglas Webb

What went bad

  • nothing!?

What could have gone better

  • More group activities for foodsharing at festivals
  • More positive feelings for meetings in yunity

Me and other individuals

(todo: write about elina, tinder, nina, jojo,
kirchheim, janina, matthias, doug, anna,
mera luna, luke, barbara, virginia,
highfield, sarah, axel, philip, adrean, maren, stefan,
chiemsee, matthias II, dominik, monika,
wuppbreak, bodhi, rosina/lucas, nick, tais)

What went well

  • (Re)connected to a number of people
  • Fell in love with the amazing Janina Abels and enjoyed so many fulfilling moments together. This was about time (big grin)!
  • Recognized my ability - or even my tendency - to love more than one person at the same time

What went bad

  • Being bitchy towards people when they do something differently than I would do it
  • Did not push for clarification with Lucas Scheliga before starting an intimate relationship with his partner
  • Communication with the contact person from FKP was not so enjoyable, sometimes stressful
  • Did not speak with Raphael Fellmer and Martin Schott about the FSINT tool plans

What could have gone better

  • More casual conversations
  • Establish contact with people I don't know yet: don't know how to bridge the uncertainty that I feel towards unfamiliar persons
  • Instruct people better: either if I want them to do something or they want to do something and need help

Me and myself

I challenged myself a lot during those two months. I wanted to find out how much adaptation skills I need in order to get things done in different environments and with different people that mostly don't know me before. I like the challenge as long as I have myself under control and be responsive to events that happen.

As I have noticed, this alertness costs much energy. I felt drained at the second and third festival. At the WuppBreak, my alertness sometimes made me hypersensitive and I couldn't sleep. Things that I noticed around me (stuff that breaks, uncleaned rooms and dishes, waste of resources like fire wood) and feelings that I noticed in me (not being calm enough to get to know and enjoy people, being painfully self-conscious in talks, built-up sexual energy, fear of missing out fun) brought me distress.

I also noticed that I could improve my situation by simply letting things happen, by taking time for myself, by doing sports, and most importantly, spending intense uplifting time with other people. This means giving and receiving - I know that other people want to be in contact with me, as I want to be in contact with them. I'm not special. I am there and by simply being, I am interesting. I very much like it when I don't have the feeling that people expect something from me.

What went well

  • Felt useful and had a purpose, sometimes amazing!
  • A bit of guitar practice & singing
  • Took time off and got my own space
  • I learned a lot about drugs, even without taking them

What went bad

  • Emotional imbalance
  • Got restless and could not always sleep
  • Felt like missing out fun
  • I feel responsible for a lot more things that I can do

What could have gone better

  • More or generally regular sports
  • Knowing more ways how to deal with built-up sexual energy
  • More diverse reading: not only Slack & wiki, but stories, articles, books
  • More stability
  • On a broader perspective, life starts to feel more and more the same. I want to feel something new.

Random

Favorite Music Albums: Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan & Michael Brook - Mustt Mustt and Night Song

Best Music Discovery: Ninze & Okaxy (this was in July at the Feel festival, but come on - it's ketapop! no wonder it's slow!)

Outdated Technology: eeePCs from some years ago are simply to slow to run anything on today's internet



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